Barbara told me her husband needed some part time assistance with his business, routine stuff like mail-outs to clients and keeping track of orders and deliveries. It was only a day a week, but he could pay me cash and I could choose the day that was best for me. I was really happy, not just because of the money, which wasn't going to be much, but because it would be my money and I wouldn't have to ask Brian for as much each week.Brian was pleased for me, but reiterated that we were doing fine with the money we had, He said I shouldn't feel obliged to contribute to the house expenses - the money I earned should be mine. So I went to work for Barbara's husband, John, who was nice enough but a bit distant. The first day I started there I got the idea that he didn't really need me but that Barbara might have talked him into employing me. I tried to impress him anyway, doing the work scrupulously, and dressing as well as I could. I had become very used to having long hair. And the answer: I’m right back where I started. No wonder I’m going crazy. “You can take it out yourself,” the waitress suggests after a few seconds, shrugging as she retraces her steps to fetch another (probably wrong) order from the kitchen. “We can swap if you want,” mumbles Dan, the girl opposite me. “They didn’t put as much in mine.” I stare into my friend’s bowl. Her soup is swimming with green specks, more so than mine. I tell her it’s okay, although I’m seething inside. Nothing here works the way it should. “I hate this place,” I hiss under my breath. “Come on, Fei,” she pleads, pasting a smile on for my benefit. “It’s not so bad, is it?” Sun Dan, my oldest friend, is a reflection of the former me. She’s content to take whatever this place has to throw at her – thick clouds of smoke; a kid pissing right beside her sandaled foot; the guy at the next table sneezing into the back of her head as he turns round to spare his lunch - all without standing up and shouting: “This.
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